So… this is the government’s latest UK advert. It’s already been withdrawn this afternoon because it’s so shit even by UK government standards.

“in cyber”

hahahahaha, what advertising twerp thought that that was even a thing?

But here’s the problem. I’m already seeing a huge amount of people (most of whom are not artists or performers) posting this with comments like “No, Fatima, just be you! Just keep doing what you are doing! You go girl! Don’t give up on your dreams!” etc. ad infinitum.

Bollocks.

That’s all very well if Fatima’s got rich parents who bought her way into ballet school and can put her up in their mansion for the next year, but for the other 99% of us who are professional performers, this isn’t “our dream” — we actually work for a living. And unless your idea of “living your dreams” is sleeping under a bridge and not eating for a year, you better fucking reskill. That’s the reality we live in now.

When I taught young musicians back in the day, I taught them stuff like how to use project management software to plan their schedules, to make presentations and flyers to market themselves and their shows etc. because I knew that for most of them having transferable skills was going to be really important in their lives. Traditional arts education has generally been utterly shit at that, and tried to ignore it, instead pretending that everyone who goes through their drama/dance/music school is going to have a long and happy career as a professional entertainer. Instead, most of them are going to have long unhappy careers as baristas.

So yeah, as much as I hate to say it, this is actually very good advice from the government. Admittedly put forward in their typical crass, bullshit fashion. But there you go.

And before you reply, I suggest you check out my resume before accusing me of not understanding how it “really is to be an artiste”.